Laura Polk

Hide Me, Please!

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:29:28 GMT

The average woman spends 2.2 hours per day on chores, washes 5,300 articles of clothing in a year, and changes 7,300 diapers per child. That alone takes up 2 minutes and 5 seconds per diaper change, adding up to three 40-hour work weeks each year. There are more than 2 billion—yes billion—moms in the world. And we average two kids a piece.

I don’t have to tell you these things—you live it!

But, when you’re in the throes, it’s sometimes hard to keep a handle on the big picture isn’t it? To see how all of this madness matters. I mean a diaper pail full of dirties doesn’t look like much of an accomplishment. Neither does a book bag full of completed homework. Or, a dance bag full of dirty clothes.

But, it all matters, Mama. Infinitely.

Whether you are new to motherhood, or waiting for motherhood; new to a career, or waiting on a career; new to a calling on your life, or waiting to discover the calling for your life, let me encourage you:

The hardest thing to remember as a mom struggling to keep it all together is that life never gets in the way. Life is the way.

In the struggle to serve Him well, we must remember that it is a process. And a process takes time. During the times that we feel insignificant, unusable, and the most ineffective, be sure that God is at work. In fact, during these times of our lives, we are the easiest to mold. A softer clay. The times that God may work the most radical changes He may ever make in your life.

Motherhood is hard because we are stretched beyond any measuring stick we’ve ever used. There is no pause button. No, “oh, but I need to just”. It’s all live, all the time. And you swim and swim because you have to. But those muscles you learn to use (even beyond your own will to) build an endurance in you that prepares you for bigger things. So that when the moment is right, and God has readied you, He will pull you out of His pocket and—wham!—use you in a way that you didn’t even see coming.

Much like the story of Isaiah. I love his testimony in Isaiah 49:1. He knew that God’s work in his life was something that God had planned, not him. He knew that there was a special calling on his life. But, he had to be made “fit” before he could serve.

“Listen to me, you islands;
   hear this, you distant nations:
Before I was born the LORD called me;
   from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name.
² He made my mouth like a sharpened sword,
   in the shadow of his hand he hid me;
he made me into a polished arrow
   and concealed me in his quiver.”

Isaiah knew that God’s work began in him before he was born. God “hid” him, protected him, as He worked to refine him into an object that he could use. Then, he concealed Isaiah in his quiver until it was time for him to be utilized.

You too, must be sharpened, polished, and ready to serve before God can use you. When you get right down to it, you have no power in it. Truly. I’m sorry. And I hate to hear it myself. But, it’s true. It’s all God. All in His time. Not, unfortunately, yours.

But, the wonderful thing about that is that you have no power in it. Truly. It’s wonderful. It’s all God. All in His time. Not yours. So, go with the flow, Mama. Bend and mold to the hands that are working in your life. You will be incredibly amazed, and incredibly blessed with where they lead. Rest there. Live there. Worship there.

Touched by Matisse

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:27:52 GMT

Many years ago, I was lucky enough to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art while on a trip to New York. Now, I have to tell you that even though I’m a designer, I’m not a lover of museums. I can tour them in about half the time as others—a speed-reader of art, am I—so I’m probably not someone you’d want to take with you if you like to take your time.

But, this was the Met. Everyone has to go to the Met if they get to New York, right?

And so I did.

I rushed through halls and halls for what felt like days, while my husband wandered sloooooowly behind me. I was a frequenter of benches, a foot tapper, waiting for him to catch up. While I was more into the “feel” of what art offered, he was into the history. A. Much. Longer. Trip. Through. The. Museum.

Until I got to the Matisse. My favorite artist of all time.

There’s just something about the way Matisse created with wild abandon to the rules and skeptics of his day that’s always intrigued me. He’s the artist I most wanted to replicate. The one who most inspired me. The one I did my senior project on in college.

So when I came upon his work, I was so mesmerized by it that I stopped and stood still. I stayed mere inches from it for a completely ridiculous amount of time. I refused to move so that others might see. I was completely smitten with the thought of Henri Matisse standing before the exact same canvas at one point in his life, placing careful strokes of color. I could imagine him stepping back to view his work. Adding small details. Mixing the pigments to their most vibrant hues.

I imagined doing the same. Paintbrush in hand. Then, without thinking, I actually reached out and touched it.

That’s right. I touched a Matisse.

You can imagine how popular I suddenly became.

Before my wayward hand could even withdraw, I was flanked by security guards. I stood there dumbfounded at what I’d done. I knew better. It was so involuntary, I’m not sure I even realized what I was doing until it was over.

My reprimand was lighter than you might expect. Still, the large men were very convincing. Had I had the means, I would have immediately hot-glued my hands to my sides.

But regardless of the trouble I got in, for the rest of my life, I’ve continued to remain in awe of the fact that I touched a Matisse. All the years studying his work. All the late night’s spent mimicking his style. All the research I’d done into his life. In the end, my longing to connect with him was something I didn’t even realize until the opportunity presented itself.

And though it was a brief encounter, and no one else in that room might have realized the meaning, it is something I will always have. I mean, really? Have you ever met another person in your life that has touched a Matisse?!

It’s in touching that painting that I’ve come to realize that moment in time is much like a moment I long for each of you to have. To be filled with awe by a creation so beautiful, that you are drawn to connect with the Creator. To study His word. To mimic His life. To research the truth of who He is. So that, when the opportunity presents itself, you will reach out.

If only you will pause long enough to experience it.

Friendship Lessons from the Trenches (Guest: Mary Snyder)

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:29:12 GMT

Today my guest,Mary Snyder, describes herself as a slightly frazzled, but seriously blessed wife, mom, speaker and the author of God, Grace, and Girlfriends: Adventures in Faith & Friendship. Her book is candid, funny, and on spot with suggestions as to how to build successful friendships while avoiding those that don't work in our lives.

We're talking it up over at Moms Together on facebook today where we'll also be giving away two copies! Come join the conversation at http://www.facebook.com/MomsTogether and catch up with Mary at her blog – www.MaryRSnyder.com

I spent a few years in the friendship trenches –I’ve been knee deep in fun and I’ve been face first in some major messiness. But I learned something from each relationship out here in the trenches.

Many of my friendships happened while I was busy working, serving, parenting, and just doing life God placed some amazing people in my path. Some became lifelong friends, others were only around for a season, but each one had a purpose – some made me laugh at myself, others pushed me to go beyond my small dreams, a few were never supposed to be friends, and some were meant to travel with me for a time.

These bonds didn’t happen by mistake -- they were God sent.

It’s in Christ we find the wisdom to walk through the blessings and the messiness of friendships.

I’m learning to embrace friendships for the season God intends – and I’m learning to let go when the time is right or the relationship is wrong. It’s a lesson learned in the trenches and through much heartache and tears.

Truths I’ve learned:

Some friends are only for a season – I remember dear friends from my early parenting years. We traveled from bottles and diapers to homework and softball. We share some sweet memories, but our lives have gone in different directions.

Not every friend will become a close friend – and that’s okay. It’s not possible to be great friends with everyone in your circle – you’ll wear yourself out trying.

Sandpaper people have a purpose – the person who just rubs you wrong is in your life for a reason. Look closer, what is God trying to teach you through this relationship? I always pray I can learn the lesson quickly!

Friendships require boundaries and balance – both are needed to keep your relationships healthy. Friends have a precious place in my life, but they do not take the place of my Savior or my spouse. When you make time for friends, but not for Jesus or your husband, it’s time to reevaluate. And watch out for the friend who doesn’t understand this balance – in fact, RUN from this person.

Friendships require an investment – any healthy relationship requires work and friendships are no different. I have to be willing and able to invest time. If I don’t have the time then maybe it’s just not the right time for the friendship.

I want to honor God in my friendships. I want to encourage, laugh, share, and challenge my friends to be all they can be in Christ. And I need friends who want to do the same for me.

From the Fray

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:26:23 GMT

I could hear it coming from the back of the house.

The thump. Some rumbling. And then, a whimper.

Voices mumbled in the distance, trying to console—or maybe convince not to tell. But it wasn’t enough.

A door flew open and a five-year-olds cry pierced the silence.

It was one of those cries that, as a mother, I knew meant no one was injured. In the language of bellows, this one translated as a broken heart. Feelings that had been hurt. And so I waited, curious to see if the little caravan would make its way to me, or be consoled amongst themselves.

And they came. One crying. One explaining.

Both spouting out so much information at once that I couldn’t hear or understand the words. But, the hurt. That I understood completely.

I quickly assuaged the explainer, telling him I understood. It was clearly an accident. Not meant for harm. He apologized and moved on.

But the injured heart remained. Broken and wailing.

As I took him in my arms, we rocked. I could feel his heartbeat slowing. His sniffling subsided. And two tiny arms wrapped around me with all their strength and held on to holding on.

I hummed a little tune I used to sing to him when he was a baby, and he laid his head on my shoulder, just needing someone to love him. Someone to understand him. Someone to do nothing more than know him.

All it took was a few moments on my part. Then recharged, he jumped off of my lap and returned to the fray.

And suddenly I understood.

My longing to be held the same way. The deep need I had to be understood. My greatest hope that in this life, someone—just one someone—would know me, would get me, and would understand the broken parts of me and choose me anyway. And my heart began to heal a little. To close up the gaping wound that’s resulted from the last three years of struggles.

I ran to my Father with a new joy in my heart. One I’ve been missing these many months. And remembered:

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

Even when we are rejected in this world, we have One who is waiting for us to come to Him and climb into His lap. One who gets us, and chooses us anyway. One who sees us, and longs to save us from our hurting, broken hearts. He takes such joy in us, and can quiet our fears and our hurts with His love. One who rejoices over us with the songs He’s been singing in our lives since creation.

And just that moment. That small, seemingly insignificant moment, gives me the strength I need to return to the fray.

Tell it, Girl

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:10:00 GMT

The story unfolded as foretold. He was born. He lived as man. He came to save.

It’s so incredible; it’s almost too much to take in. So, we celebrate. We give Him a proper place in our holiday, then restart our own stories with renewed faith.

But, after the holidays, as you tuck the nativity back into the closet, do you also put the story back on the shelves of your mind? Or do you share it?

What if we all really did go out and tell it on the mountain?

What if the passion we felt during the holidays, the gratitude, and the disbelief at our fortune stayed with us past the New Year? What if we made a decision each year to renew our role in the story, to vow to “tell it” so that the following year maybe one more person would have the gift we so easily forget?

If you’re reading this, you likely spend a fair amount of time on the web. There’s never been a time in history when so much information was available so easily, to so many. Whether through the internet, texting, apps, or messaging, there’s never been a time with so many avenues to reach people.

What if we used it?

There’s the chance that we’ll offend. Or anger. Or just plain scare, of course. But, there’s also the chance that we won’t.

That we’ll use our time online to bless, to encourage, to guide and build. Knowing that God is at work all over the world in channels that run deeper and wider than the internet. That He may use a click of a mouse to catch someone’s interest. To lead someone to Him in a way He didn’t have available years ago.

Technology makes us more transparent than we’ve ever been in our lives. We allow ourselves to be exposed through facebook, twitter, blogs, and email. People piece our lives together based on the small snippets they see through these media, and they can discern better than ever if we are living the life, or living the lie.

So, I challenge you this year, sister. It’s time to get out there and tell it. To be as real and transparent as you can be so that people see your faith and rather than wonder if they could ever follow Him, know what real Christianity looks like, and decide to follow as well. The real Christian. Broken. Flawed. Imperfect. Prone to mistakes. Filled with issues. A holy, hot mess.

Just. Like. Them.

To show them not only what a godly woman is (because we all have enough of them showing us up, right?), but also what reachable faith is. Real faith, within their grasp.

I know. You’re not the one. You’ve got too many things that hold you back. Too many mistakes. Too many flaws.

Actually, that makes you a good choice for His service. Just as Gideon felt completely inadequate, God simply told him to “Go in the strength you have.” (Judges 6:14)

Not the super-holy-ultimate-example-of-a-Christian strength that many fake. The strength you have. What is already within you. Because it’s in the weak lives, that God is able to do a mighty work. It’s when we lean into Him, knowing that we can’t do it, but trusting in faith that He’ll make it happen anyway, that GOD MOVES.

He can do incredible things through you. Just as He told Gideon: “Am I not sending you?”

Click and tell it, sister.

Today's Guest: Jessica Kirkland (giveaway***)

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:14:46 GMT

As we all jump full force into our New Year's Resolutions (or um, struggle to jump in), have you ever considered that FEAR may be the reason you can't seem to conquer your goals? Today my guest, Jessica Kirkland, talks about how the enemy used fear throughout her life to make her question her every move. After years of suffering in fear, Jessica has overcome it and now reaches out to help kids do the same. She's got a great series of Apps for kids that do just that. And, we're giving one away today on the blog (and 5 more over at Moms Together on facebook!). Just leave a comment here to enter to win, or join the discussion on facebook. Thanks, Jessica!

Tomorrow Had Come

By Jessica Kirkland

In every season of life, the Enemy would whisper the lie that I would “never make it” to the next. I believed it. Time and time again, I thought his words held power. As a young child, I never thought I would live to see my school years. Once I entered school, I never thought I would live to see the next day, next grade, or milestone in life. I listened to a very real enemy, even though I didn’t want to. Even though I came from a very strong, Christian family, I felt powerless to stop the lies. Fear gripped me, stole from me, and taunted every step I carefully took.

I gave my heart to Christ at six-years-old, yet fear still held me tight. Though I had renewed hope, the whispers and lies continued to flow and drown out truth through every season. When, I heard the words that burned a hole straight through, I was nose-to-nose with what appeared to be the sum of all my fears.

“Mrs. Kirkland, you have Congestive Heart Failure. If your babies are born now, they will probably not live or be severely impaired.”

I was twenty-six weeks pregnant with triplets. In the beginning, I had been pregnant with quads, but had lost that child at 14 weeks. I never imagined that we might all go meet Jesus on the same day. I mourned the thought of my husband walking through life alone. I grieved for the children that would either die, be disabled on this Earth, or grow up motherless. And I burned with anger, not just because an oxygen mask was strapped to my face and I struggled for breath and life, but because of twenty-five years of allowing Satan to tell me that I would never make it to tomorrow.

Tomorrow had come.

As nurses whirled around me, I prayed Acts 17:25 out loud, “…You give life and breath to everything, and satisfy every need.” I pleaded with the God that I personally knew through a relationship with His Son, Jesus. I knew He had a plan for my life that was good according to Jeremiah 29:11. In my humanity, I struggled with the thought that death might be His plan for us on that day.

Today, although born 9 weeks premature, we are parents to three, healthy, 5-year-olds. The joy that Satan has stolen from me in 30 years, through a spirit of fear, is great. I imagine if you strung each lying sentence end-to-end, they might wrap the globe. Yet, I have promised to tell others of His miracles in my life and do my part in setting captives free. Tomorrow had come, but so had Jesus, and it is He who has defeated the grave.

“For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

You can reach Jessica and learn more about her Christian Apps for Kids at:

http://on.fb.me/wy5ORZ Facebook
http://twitter.com/#!/appmama123 Twitter
http://www.christianapps4kids.com App Website
http://www.jessicakirkland.com Jessica's Blog

Merry Christmas!

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 20:40:32 GMT

A special thank you to each and every one of you who have joined me this year. May you have a blessed and Merry Christmas enjoying the season of our King.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWq60oyrHVQ

This Santa Thing

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 11:48:12 GMT

This week, in the midst of class parties, middle school exams, and teacher’s gifts; in the craziness of office get togethers, bargain hunting, and an insane amount of baking; I decided it was time to calm the chaos and get my children to focus on what exactly was their heart’s desire for Santa to bring them—instead of the items they just watched on a commercial five seconds ago.

I brought out the special paper, the colored pencils and pens, and yes—the stickers. The room was aflutter with excitement. My older two got busy right away, telling Santa how good they’d been and detailing their thoughts of what they most wanted him to bring. My youngest, only five, was relegated to me—to help him get it all down on paper.

There were no restrictions. No limits. If they wanted to ask for the space shuttle, I would have let them write it down because Christmas is a season of hope, and dreams, and wonder. I love that they think that nothing is impossible. And that someone loves them so much that they would try to do the impossible for them.

When we were done, the stickers spent, the floor littered with crumpled paper and renegade magic markers, three little children tucked their hopes and dreams into a letter and sealed the envelope for Santa’s eyes only.

As the older two scurried off, my youngest son—just five—whispered, “Hey Mommy, thanks for telling Santa I was good. Because sometimes at school, I be bad.”

I smiled as I hugged him, assured him that he was good, and sent him on his way dreaming of his Christmas wishes. But later, when he asked me again if I thought he was good, I was stopped dead in my merry little tracks.

“Well, I know you try to be good all the time. But it’s hard, right? I mean, we all do things we wish we hadn’t.”

He nodded, “But, will Santa be mad?”

“No, buddy. Santa loves us and forgives us, just like Jesus does.”

His eyes searched the floor as I could feel his mind churning. Then, he looked at me with a big smile, and ran off into Christmas-la-la-land.

And for once, this Christian who often has wondered if the Santa-hype takes away too much of the season, was grateful for the jolly old elf. Because even though my five year old knows about Jesus, and understands that He loves him, in many ways, Santa is the first example in his life that he will have of tangible forgiveness. His first taste of knowing that he’s done something wrong, but being forgiven anyway. His first realization that in the end, naughty boys are shown the same grace as good boys.

Could it be, that Santa has created a stepping stone in my child’s heart from which to better understand Jesus? I think so.

Because they have seen tangible results of someone loving them despite their mistakes, they can understand how Jesus might. Because they have witnessed impossible hopes being granted, they can understand that God does impossible things as well. And, because they have first believed in something with their whole heart, and been shown kindness and grace, they are more willing to open their hearts to another.

Even after learning the truth—as my oldest has just this year—I’ve seen that there is no fall out of betrayal. Instead, there is a deeper understanding of what it is to be loved and to be known. That Santa has been their first experience in believing in a concept of something unseen.

And so, this Christmas, I’m thankful for Santa. For the wonder of the story. For the way it can touch a child’s heart. For the experiences it brings them in forgiveness. And, I can’t wait to see their faces this season as a few more of their heart’s desires are met.

Living With the Grinch

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 14:38:21 GMT

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons.
It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

From “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” by Dr. Seuss

Bah! I know its Christmas. I’ve known since two days before Halloween when all the department stores packed their shelves with the newest wares and this year’s must haves. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. Or that I have to like it. But, it’s here regardless.

. . . Hmm . . .

Are you living with the Grinch this Christmas? Someone or something that’s stealing your joy? Ruining your favorite time of year? Making you wish those Christmas cookies you were baking had sharper edges with which to poke them back into a good mood?

For many, the holidays can be a tough time. And in our current economy this is becoming more so for more families with each passing month.

Maybe your Grinch is a lost job, a torn relationship, or a looming financial situation. Maybe it is an actual person you dread being around for fear they will ruin your Christmas mojo, or stress over too much to do. Maybe, sweet grinchy, it’s you.

So, how do you buck this hairy green monster out of the way?

Celebrate Intentionally

Make sure that you spend time instead of just money. Yes, we all know the real reason for this celebration. It doesn't make us want to do any less for the ones we love. But, the focus is what we make it. Choose your focus wisely. Make new memories. Enjoy the small moments.

Pay attention to what’s in front of you

Love the ones you’re with. Honor the ones you are not with. Christmas hardships are often about people, not things. But, by giving a situation more attention than it deserves, you miss out on the beautiful moments right in front of your face. Find one positive thing you can do, say, and think about a difficult relationship that may be stealing your joy, then press on to what and who is with you.

Make it meaningful

We only have so many opportunities in our lives to spend in this season. Don’t waste them even if times are hard. Go visit someone you know is struggling. Call someone you miss. Let something go that you are holding onto. More than anything, this season is about giving and the joy it brings to serve others. Serve with meaning.

Have some fun

That’s an order. Seriously. Don’t forget that part of the wonder of this season is the joy we know is coming. Do silly things with your kids. Laugh. Giggle. Play. Enjoy the wonder of expectation.

Remember

This is the big one. The most important thing to ever happen to man. The celebration of the very first moment in time when God Himself chose to share our lives in person. There is nothing greater in history than the day that He came to join us here on earth so that one day we might join Him in heaven. Now that’s something to celebrate.

The Perfect Recipe

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:00:00 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a mom. We’ll call her um . . . Kaura. She loved to cook. But she wasn’t a natural at it. Still, it didn’t stop her from trying to provide home cooked meals for her family. After all, Kaura had a cookbook.

With her cookbook by her side, she felt confident—too confident. She would dress in her best apron—you know, the cute lime green one with the pink rick-rack along the edge—and get out her very best cookware. Okay, it was her only cookware—the ones with dings and stains on them—but still.

Then she’d open up her cookbook and locate a recipe that she knew everyone would enjoy. At first, she’d follow it strictly using precise measurements and the recommended tools. She’d heat the oven to exactly the suggested temperature. But then, well . . . see there was an ingredient in it that she knew her kids would hate, so she subbed it out for something else. And, she realized she only had 40 minutes for the meal to cook and still get everyone to football and cheerleading not the 60 minutes the recipe suggested—so she adjusted the temperature.

Before you knew it—viola!—she’d ruined another perfectly good dinner! One that her family would choke down anyway because they loved her.

But, she knew the truth. She should have followed the cookbook step by step.

I know. Moms like Kaura are rare. Most of us easily follow what we are told to do. In the exact order we are told to do it. And never, never think that we have a better way, right?

Ahem.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is that of David and Goliath. As a young boy, David had incredible faith in God. By the time we meet him in this story, he is such a strong believer in what God will do for him that we almost want to go back and see where such faith came from.

Tending sheep, David was often put in situations in which he had to fight off enemies of the flock. I imagine those fights built up over time. Maybe he fought a garden snake and won. Then, a fox and won. Then, a wolf and won.

With each step in faith that he took to protect his flock, he was likely presented with something more difficult that would stretch him even further. Eventually, we are told that he fought bears and lions. That’s a far cry from a little garden snake! But, he was prepared, because he’d obeyed and built up not only trust in God, but a history of taking the next given step.

He didn’t become fearless by himself. His faith in God built up over time as he took risks in faith, and won. By the time Goliath arrived on the scene, David had surely overcome many foes of the flock. Why else would he strut before the crowd of terrified soldiers and taunt a giant?

As David stepped onto that field and pulled the smooth stone from his pouch, he stepped into his destiny. A step that would eventually lead him to become king.

But, remember? He didn’t get there all at once. It was a series of steps. A series of movements in faith. A series of following just what was given to him at the time.

Do you often wonder what God has planned for you? Do you get frustrated that you can’t seem to get the “big picture” of what it is He would have you do? Do you ever wish that He would just let you in on the plan so you could go ahead and do it for Him?

Sweet sister, just as a recipe is completed one step at a time, so is your destiny and what God has called you to do for Him. It is not for you to decide how adjusting the next step will lead to a quicker outcome. It is simply your decision to follow the step He has placed in front of you right now.

Proverbs 3:5-7 says:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.”

So, whatever happened to our mom, Kaura? Well, over time, she learned her lesson the hard way—funny, I’m the same way!—and she began to see that it was only when she took the time to follow the plan in the order it was given that she found success in her cooking.

Her family (and their stomachs) rejoiced.

Stained

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:48:52 GMT

I’m a cleaner. With three little mess makers, you might not know it if you walk into my house on any given day. But, if you’d look closely you’d probably see it. I like to know that things are clean. That they have been sanitized.

But even with all my efforts, there are spots in my house that have been stained. Areas that I can’t seem to remove. Some stains are just resilient and can hide after being cleaned so that a few days later, a shadow of it remains. Stains like that can drive me crazy. Even though I try to hide them by rearranging the furniture, or covering them with a cute pillow, they are still there. And I know it.

The same can be said for our lives.

Sometimes circumstances or the choices we make can cast lasting shadows on our hearts. Stains that seem to permeate our thoughts, our lives, and how we see ourselves. These stains of our hearts can become a permanent shadow on them as long as we continue to keep the cleaning to ourselves. And though we may cover it up with a pretty sweater, or a convincing smile, deep down we know it’s still there.

Do you have a stain in your life? One that you likely attacked with intentions to clean when it first arrived, but somehow parts of it remained in the shadows? Have you pushed forward in life anyway, pretending not to see it, only to be reminded at the most unlikely times that it is still a part of you?

Maybe you asked for help in cleaning your stain, but didn't fully allow God's work to be done. Maybe you've kept part of it hidden, or tried to cover it up from Him because you couldn't admit it to yourself.

Your stain may come in the shape of insecurity, or broken relationships. It may come in harsh tones, or defeated attitudes. It may come in berating others by our thoughts and words. Whatever its shape, it’s really just a shadow of the real problem.

A problem we need to call in help to clean.

With stains like these, if we do not attend to them, they can begin to spread into other areas of our lives. They can hold us back from doing God’s will. They can keep us from giving ourselves fully.

God never intended for us to live with stained hearts, sisters. He knows that until we call upon Him to clean them away, that we cannot fully serve Him.

Do you have some cleaning to do?

“Come, let’s talk this over! Says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. If you will only let me help you, if you will only obey, then I will make you rich!” Isaiah 1:18-19

Ahh . . . The Fairy Tale Life

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:09:14 GMT

It all started when I became a mom.

When my first child was six weeks old, I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that I had not slept for more than two consecutive hours since the day she’d been born. That’s forty-two days. I was a complete wreck. My once perfectly styled hair was falling out strand by frazzled strand. My makeup scurried to the back of the drawer, mortified. My bathroom counters were strewn with baby wipes, burp cloths and diaper crème. I’d given up all attempts to try to look presentable. I lived each moment trying to make it through to the next.

Forty-two fussy days led to colicky evenings and sleepless nights. Between my daughter and myself, I’m not sure who cried more. Okay, me. My dreams of motherhood were being reshaped by a screaming mass of pink and bows.

I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. I’d read all the books. I’d spent many years babysitting and I’d even grown up in a house that nurtured a home daycare since I was seven years old. I had literally been surrounded by babies for two decades. I’d diapered, wiped and burped more infants than all of my friends combined. I was prepared for anything and had complete confidence that I could handle one little baby. All I was worried about was making it through delivery . . . the rest would come naturally.

Except that it didn’t.

Not by a mile.

A screaming, crying, nearly-nervous-breakdown-causing mile.

The day my mother left after staying with us that first week home, I stood at the door shoulder slumped, hand planted on the window pane and cried for her. The initiation into motherhood was eye opening for me. I was scared and totally unprepared for what an overwhelming responsibility it would be. I didn’t think I could do it.

I spent most of that first night alone with my daughter as my husband slept unaware in the room below. We rocked for hours as I reached out in desperate prayers to a God I wasn’t sure cared about the worries of me or my daughter. Waking up in the middle of the night, amazingly still clutching my daughter to my chest, I felt completely alone. And the marathon of early motherhood began.

My daughter cried around the clock. When I wasn’t crying, I was calling my own mother asking her opinion on why she thought my daughter hated me. I felt unloved and unwanted by the little girl I’d dreamed of having all my life. I couldn’t comfort her or make her happy. If I chose breastfeeding, she chose not to eat. If I chose the bottle, she chose the paci. If I chose the fat paci, she wanted the angled paci. I was convinced I couldn’t do anything right. I was an utter failure as a mother after only six weeks in the job.

I’d spent my pre-baby years building a career in which I was excelling.

Post-baby, I was scared to leave the house with my daughter.

Leaving the house, in fact, was a feat of enormous proportions. I’d spend hours getting everything ready. Dressing her. Packing and repacking the bag. Changing bags. Changing her. Making sure I squeezed in everything I needed. (Yes, I did need the nasal aspirator. I did. Really.) I’d fret for hours so that everything was in order only to finally get out and realize I’d left something at home. Sometimes it was diapers; other times her bottles and food. Surprisingly, never my daughter.

All of these moments stacked on top of each other until I felt that I couldn’t move from the heavy load upon me. Something wasn’t clicking for me. I felt trapped and overwhelmed.

I didn’t like being a mom.

I felt totally isolated and alone. I was desperate to have someone meet me where I was, but I was unable to reach for them. Even as they reached for me. That continued for months.

When friends would call to ask how I was doing, I always made it seem as if things were perfect. Anyone that was around me from more than oh…twenty seconds, could have clearly seen that they were not. But they all seemed so happy to be mothers. I wanted to be happy too.

While other moms gathered in gaggles at malls and other baby outings, I could barely leave my house. Things that I once enjoyed seemed like insurmountable chores with my daughter along. While my friends calendars became packed with baby music lessons, play dates, and lunches, all my calendar looked like to me were long days to be dreaded.

One weekend trip home to visit my parents, my daughter cried the entire four hours across North Carolina. Nonstop. I was a complete wreck when I showed up at their door, hoping for some consolation and pampering from my own mother. I was happy to hear that an old friend (one with a great sense of humor) left a message saying that she wanted to see me when I got in. She recently had her first baby as well and we planned what became my daughters first play date.

I got to her house and rushed to sit down and talk to her about how she was really doing. I greatly needed someone else to admit that they felt the way I did. I knew she’d have a funny outlook on motherhood. I couldn’t wait.

As I walked into her home I was stunned with how immaculate it was. Nothing was out of place. There were no toys on the floor, no bottles lying beside slept-in chairs, no baby paraphernalia strewn across the room. How was she doing that? I was glad I lived so far away and she didn’t have to see my living room. I couldn’t believe how well she was holding it all together.

We sat down on the floor and put our tiny babies on a blanket so they could “play”. That basically consisted of them staring in each others general direction as they drooled and/or slept. The basic baby play date at two months old.

“So, how do you like being a mom?” I said with an urging in my voice that begged her to tell me the truth. I couldn’t wait to hear the funny stories and harried tales of new-baby responsibilities.

“I just love it,” she said, her eyes melting into baby-ga-ga-mode as she looked at her daughter. “I can’t believe how much I love her. And she’s such a good baby.”

“Really?” I asked thinking she was simply being polite. “Are you having to get up with her a lot?” I yawned as my own sleep deprivation made itself noticed.

“No. You know, I’m so lucky. My husband and I take turns getting up and either my mom or his mom comes by every day to watch the baby so that I can get some rest,” she said. “It makes it so much easier for me to deal with her at night. And I don’t really mind getting up with her; it’s our time to snuggle. Really, this is all just a fairy tale for me.”

Wow. A fairy tale? Mine was too, only I was the princess and there was a milk-spewing dragon attacking me and keeping me locked away – I won’t mention names. I felt so defeated in that moment. It was all I could do not to break down and cry in front of my friend. I looked at my little baby and felt sorry for her that I was her mother. I felt the urge to apologize to her when we got in the car. Surely, even she was disappointed.

What was wrong with me?

It seemed as if there was some sort of game that all the other mommies were playing, only no one told me when practice was and I didn’t know the rules. I knew I couldn’t afford to lose, yet I couldn’t even manage to maneuver my way around the game board. I wanted to be in the game. I didn’t even have to be the cute game piece. I just wanted to fit in somewhere.

Despite my emotional struggle, I tried to focus on my daughter during this time. Even if I sat for hours holding her in order for her not to cry, I did it because it made me feel like a better mother. I’d sing the same song to her over and over until my voice was hoarse if I thought it was comforting to her in some way. Slowly, I began to convince myself that she and I could be a little team.

But, it wouldn’t take much for me to feel like I wasn’t doing a good job. I didn’t know what she wanted from me when she cried. I didn’t really know how to spend an entire day with an infant. Realizing that it was up to me to keep us going at all costs terrified me.

As I look back on my early years as a mother, I am even more thankful now for my relationship with God. I have experienced other difficult seasons in my life since then. But there is a big difference between what I was going through then and what I’ve gone through since or will go through in the future. As I was able to allow myself to rely on God, I finally began to understand His dedication to me. I had not been alone, even when it felt that way.

As a mom who may be overloaded with the daily ins and outs of life at this stage, God can be your greatest ally. He knows your struggles and knows you as His daughter, even if you don’t know or understand Him.

Because of that grace, because of that beautiful gift that God gives each of us, we can make it through the difficult times. The impossible times. The crying at being left behind times. He wants to do that for you.

When the rest of the world seems to glide by unaffected by your subtle pleas for help, even when you don’t have the strength or the ability to reach for that help, He is there. When you feel that no one is there for you, He notices you in the shadows. He hears your cries and longs to comfort you.

Have you looked for God in the midst of your struggles as a mom? Or, have you allowed your dreams of how motherhood should be, to be reshaped by others opinions? Are you rushing and pushing through everything feeling that you can do it if you just try harder? Or have you realized that you need help?

Inviting God into this time in your life is essential to getting it right. This is a partnership. You are not only raising your child, but His. Allow Him to come beside you as you lead your children through life. Ask Him to lead the way during the times when you feel that you can not. He is throwing lifelines all around you. Reach for them!

Luke 12:32 says:

So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.

Just as it gives you pleasure and happiness to watch the growth of your children and help them along their paths in life, it gives God the same happiness to do that for you.

So don’t be afraid. Choose to be with Him during this hectic time of your life. Choose to turn to Him when you feel you are in over your head. Ask Him to partner with you as you raise your children together. Make sure that He is the voice you listen to. You and your little flock.

The gods Women Worship

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 10:27:30 GMT

When I was a teenager, I worked part-time in a local linen shop. It wasn’t the kind of place you’d expect to find most teenagers. In fact, in the sum total of the three years I worked there, I probably saw less than a handful come through the store. We sold linens: Sheets. Pillows. Towels. Bedspreads and window treatments. It was a haven for women, since we were one of only two places in town from which to buy such things.

But, being a teenager, I didn’t really get it. What was so important about the length of your curtains, or the size of your towels? I didn’t understand what made them so happy about getting a new comforter, or bathroom mat. Weren’t those things just necessary “things”? They didn’t really matter.

Once a year, we would do an inventory clean out. For a place the size of a convenience store, we packed in a LOT of stuff. And for one day, each spring, we’d have a clean out sale—70% off. Again, being so young, I didn’t get that either. What was so great about a $30 bedspread, or a $3 cotton towel? Oh, how I wish that place was still open!

On the day of the sale, our parking lot would fill an hour before we opened. Thirty minutes before we started, the streets would begin to line with cars. And, when we opened those doors, well—have you ever seen the sale at Filene’s basement when they put their wedding gowns on clearance? Yeah, pretty much like that.

I’d stand back and watch in amazement as women in their sixties and seventies politely pushed each other around in order to rifle through a dilapidated cardboard box. I saw prominent women from our community, glance furtively from side to side as they wiped an entire row of towels into a shopping cart so that no one else would get one. And once, I literally saw a woman with a cane use it to block another woman from an aisle that she hadn’t finished checking for bargains.

It was a site to behold.

But they were chasing the deal. They weren’t hurting anyone. And these were things they needed.

I’ve been known to chase some deals of my own. In fact, my life is full of examples. Sometimes I’ve gotten the deal, sometimes I’ve been left feeling blocked only a few feet away from it. But in each case, I was in a frenzy to get what I wanted so that for a moment—just a brief moment—I would feel satisfied.

Things like: A better paying job. A diet that finally works. Acceptance in certain circles of women. The right clothes. The newest cream that would finally take these little lines away. The elusive good night’s sleep without my mind staying up hours into the night. The love of another.

Throughout my life, there have been times when any one of these things may have caused me to work myself into a frenzy to get them. I let them become a priority in my life—if only for a brief time, or a long one—because I knew that getting them would fill me. But each time, they didn’t. Each time, I’d pull the plastic off of the package to find a small prick, or torn seam. Something damaged about the object of my desire. It never filled me up, and in fact, left me more desperate than before to fill the gap.

Maybe you’ve idolized something too.

My list may not be your list, but there are common threads we certainly share. In the daily battle to make our lives work well, we sometimes discover we’ve been focusing too much on the wrong things. And that is something, sweet sister, which God will only allow for so long.

When these things become so important to you that you base your success or failure on them, you are chasing an idol—a mini god—that will never satisfy. Things like:

Wealth
Health
Popularity
Fashion
Beauty
Worry
Acceptance
Relationships

And while—no—these things in and of themselves are not necessarily bad, sometimes we put too much emphasis on one of them. When we place an importance on them in our lives—one that begins to become the measuring stick to which we determine our success and happiness—they begin to take on another role.

Maybe you look at that list and think “Nah, I’m good.” Or, maybe you look at it and wonder.

“If we could just get our income to this amount, I’d stop worrying about money.”
“It’s just twenty pounds. If I could just lose those twenty pounds, I’d be satisfied.”
“Why don’t they like me? What is this? High School? I bet if I tried (fill in the blank) then they’d be begging me to join them.”
“It’s just one more pair of shoes. And, they’re on sale. And, they match my new coat. And, if I hide them in the back seat I can throw the trash out before anyone sees.”
“I can’t believe how much she’s changed. I mean, I can still fit into my pre-baby clothes. I’m not falling into the frumpy mom trap.”
“Oh my goodness. What on earth are we going to do? What if this really happens? We could lose everything. What if they decide not to come back? What if she’s mad at me for saying that?”
“Oh no. It’s no big deal. I mean, I believe that and all. But, you can believe whatever you want. Who am I to say what’s right?”
“My kids are definitely the cutest ones here. Those new outfits were worth it. And did you see Billy catch that ball? His coach was wrong about him. He’s a much better player than Johnny.”

We’ve just come out of a three year trial in which God showed me that money had become an idol for me. It was a life altering lesson, and one that was much needed. But, I couldn’t see it in myself. My behaviors with money were so ingrained. My reliance on it so every day, that the small choices I made to build it up onto that pedestal were invisible to me.

I wouldn’t wish what our family has gone through in the last three years on anyone. It was a long suffering, heart breaking road for us. But, as we come out of it now, as we put the final pieces to rest, I can see for the first time how much I worshipped something that was not my God. It wasn’t the chasing of wealth that became my god. It was the feeling of security I just knew I’d finally have once I reached a certain level of income.

As someone who’s not experienced a lot of security in her life, I can tell you that this was something I’d built up in my mind as the “end-all-be-all”. But, it wasn’t. Even after we reached our goal, I didn’t feel secure. And so the bar moved higher, and higher, and higher.

The truth is, my security rests in Christ alone. As does yours. And sister to sister, I don’t want you to go through what I’ve just been through. Check that list again. Do an inventory of your life. Are you putting too much emphasis on something that is reserved for God alone?

“Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol.” Deuteronomy 4:23-24

31 Days to Refind God: Day Thirty-one

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 10:47:46 GMT

Day Thirty-one: Soar

It was just a click.

It seemed like a fun idea. Writers like a challenge, and I’m no different. It was so easy. To join the more than 600 other writers who chose a topic, and agreed to blog about it for 31 days along with the leaders at (in)courage.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

I’d never blogged 31 days in a row. In fact, blogging once a week sometimes seemed impossible for me. But, I knew my topic the moment I came upon the challenge, because I knew the state of my heart and the desperation it felt to move closer to God.

I wondered if there were others.

And, yes. There were.

I’m honored to have had you join me, sisters. Whether you found time to follow every day, or on occasion, you kept me going. I didn’t have a plan laid out. Instead, I trusted. Knowing that part of my journey would be to build that part of my relationship with God, I sat at my computer each day allowing Him to guide these words.

And I’ve prayed for you. Each and every one of you. That God would show up in incredible, tangible ways in your life. That He would lift you from your pit, and give you a firm place to stand. That He would cover you with His protection, His guiding hand, His love.

I’ve wanted nothing more than to find Him again.

For me, that meant redefining Him. Remembering who He has been in the past. And learning to see Him in the now, so that I will recognize Him in the future. He’s an amazing God. And it humbles me each time I realize that He does what He says He will do—without fail. Who am I, that He would answer me in the midst of all that goes on this world? The one He loves.

Just as you are.

I pray that you’ve taken the steps to Refind Him. In the midst of your search, I know He has shown up. And I hope you’ve recognized Him. Just as I hope you’ll continue to seek. To build. To grow the incredible relationship that He longs to have with you. For this is only the beginning. The touching of a hand. The sparkle of eye contact as you realize it’s Him.

Don’t let Him go.

There’s no chance He’s letting you.

“Why do you say, O Jacob,

and complain, O Israel,

‘My way is hidden from the Lord;

my cause is disregarded by my God’?

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:27-31

31 Days to Refind God: Day Thirty

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:44:11 GMT

Day Thirty: Spirit-filled

It’s fitting that today is Halloween. This weekend, I had several opportunities to watch scary movies, and read a few ghost stories. I typically shy away from such things. I have a very vivid imagination, and one scary movie (Um, thanks Freddie Krueger) can literally stay in my nightmares for years.

During these last days, I found myself asking if I believed in ghosts. As I finished a book and went to bed late, I laid there unable to sleep, considering if the shadows on the wall were something else. I tried to think of other things. To switch sides so that my brain might switch as well.

As I talked myself down from the images in my head, it occurred to me: of course I believe in Spirits. In fact, it’s pivotal in my faith. Not the kind of children’s holidays, but the real deal. The spirit of God.

In Experiencing God, author Henry Blackaby explains that “God speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible, prayer, circumstances, and the church to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.”

This profound Bible study is life changing. If you’ve never done it, I highly recommend that you do. I took this study about three years ago. As I was a few weeks in, I lost my job, and our trial began. I had no idea that our trial would continue three years later. Though I’m now employed, my husband has lost two jobs in this economy due to closings. He’s still not able to find work. (But, he has a second interview tomorrow for which prayer would be appreciated!)

I know without a doubt that God brought me to this study as preparation for what I was about to go through. Before our difficulties really even began, He drew me closer to Himself, teaching me how to recognize His direction, and discern His voice.

Of course, I didn’t always follow. There were times that I jumped ahead of Him. And times that I was too scared to try what He was telling me to do. There were many, many times in my trial that I second guessed the gut feeling that I had. The warning signal coming from inside my heart. And, chose my own path anyway. These are the very reasons—I believe—that our trial continued for so long.

In order to learn to hear God in your trials, and to successfully move from them, you have to learn to understand the ways the Holy Spirit is working in your life. He is not some charismatic being that only speaks to fanatics. He is the unique gift of communication that Jesus spoke of as He prepared to leave His disciples, sending them out into the world:

John 14:25-26

Jesus said: “I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.”

We serve a living God, sisters. As a follower, He resides in you. To guide you, to correct you, to remind you of what you’ve been taught. He is a direct line to God. And, one that will gently guide you through everything—if only you learn to hear Him.

As we go out from these 31 days, there will be times when you begin to wonder if you are on the right path. There will be times when you question the direction to go. There will be times that you begin to feel lost again.

Let these next times be different.

Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in the right direction. Learn to hear and to heed His warnings. Build a relationship with Him that is so close, you know when you are being told yes and when you are being told no.

Seem difficult? It’s not. It’s a matter of paying attention to the warnings in your heart. Those aren’t from you, but from Him. It’s a matter of paying attention to the burning inside you to do something, or say something. Those aren’t from you, but from Him. It’s a matter of paying attention to the gentle goading that encourages you to go in a certain direction, the direction that gives you a sense of peace. Those aren’t from you, but from Him.

Learn to hear. Trust the Spirit. Then go forward in confidence, knowing that the Truth is alive in you.

31 Days to Refind God: Day Twenty-nine

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:43:21 GMT

Day Twenty-nine: Lasting Change

When I was a young teenager, moving to a new town, I decided that I would transform myself. I didn’t want to be the girl I’d been. I wanted to be prettier, more outgoing, and more popular than I’d been at my previous school. As my family had gone through some tough times, I’d withdrawn from my former group of friends, I’d put on a tremendous amount of weight for my age, and I’d stopped hanging out with the girls I’d grown up with. Going into the eighth grade, I’d somehow positioned myself out of the group of friends I’d always been around.

But, I had a chance to start over. A new place where no one knew me. I wanted to make a good impression.

To me, a young girl, this all came down to my weight. I figured that if I could drop the weight gain, I’d be cuter, more likeable, and automatically fit right back into a great group of girlfriends.

Only, the rest of me didn’t change all that much. The rest of the pain in my life remained. I was still unsure of myself, uneasy around people, scared to tell anyone about my life.

The result? I gained the wrong kind of attention. Boys clamored to be around this new girl. On my first day, I had two of them ask me to be their girlfriend. Of course, you can imagine how well this went over with the girls at my school.

I’d put my all my hope in playing the part better, but hadn’t really gone deep into myself to address the problems at hand. My do-over became a lesson in what not to do to make friends and influence people. If only I’d had someone guiding me, or giving me advice on how to approach a new school, I feel like I could have avoided all the typical mistakes I made.

Don’t change this new image of yourself without going deeper to address the problems at their root.

As you go out from these 31 days, remember to follow the advice you have at your disposal: the Bible. In order to remain close to God, you’ve got to learn to listen and recognize His voice, His counsel, His plan for your life. One of the ways we hear from Him is through His word.

And while you might get lucky on occasion, by randomly flipping to a page and discovering a verse that speaks to you, truly getting into the word means reading it often. Researching what you don’t understand. Asking questions of those who might have a deeper understanding. Because when we search for Him in this way, He promises He will reveal insights to us. Remember: He wants you to know Him as deeply as you long to know Him.

And so today I encourage you to make a plan, sister. To find a new Bible-in-a-year translation that speaks to you. To go online and find a yearly reading outline. Or, to just determine an amount of time each day that you will spend in His word.

You see, we have a plan at our disposal. There is Someone who has prepared a guide so that we don’t go out into this world with the misconstrued ideas of what will work. And He has taken great care to cover all our needs. If only we will take the time to discover it.

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8

31 Days to Refind God: Day Twenty-eight

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 18:40:20 GMT

Day Twenty-eight: Prayer is Pivotal

For many, prayer is a difficult and confusing thing. It should be simple, right? But we worry if we’re doing it right. I mean, should I kneel, stand with open arms, lay flat, close my eyes, look upwards . . . the list can be endless.

There likely have been times during your trial that your prayer seemed to fall short. That you wondered if you were asking in the right way, with the right words, at the right time. You’ve possibly had others pray for you, and were set back by the eloquent way in which they spoke, the thoughtful and poignant way that they directed your problem to God.

Maybe you feel inadequate when it comes to prayer.

If so, you’re not alone. In fact, God knew this about us. He knew that as we strove to get close to Him, to speak to Him one-on-one, we would second guess ourselves. It’s for that very reason that Jesus taught us how to do it. Gave us an example to go by, knowing how important it would be for us once He was gone.

It’s this very prayer that I turn to today as I determine to set out from these 31 days, sticking close to Jesus. Determined not to drift from Him again. As I looked up the various translations of the Lord’s Prayer online, I came upon the one from The Message Bible. I need to point out, that this Bible is somewhat controversial in that it is a modern day paraphrase, rather than a direct translation. But for me, I find that reading something as well known as this prayer in a different way, can bring new meaning to light.

Matthew 6:7-13 (from the Message)

The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,

Reveal who you are.

Set the world right;

Do what’s best—as above, so below.

Keep us alive with three square meals.

Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.

Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.

You’re in charge!

You can do anything you want!

You’re ablaze in beauty!

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You don’t need to be a prayer warrior to talk to God. You don’t have to put on a big show, or use big words, to impress your big God. He is your Father. You can come to Him exactly as you are. Because in the end, all we really want is for Him to reveal Himself to us. To set the world right. To reveal His best on this earth. We know that He will provide for us. That He will forgive us when we fall. That He will protect us.

And so we praise Him. We give Him the space He deserves in our lives. We give Him permission to move through us in ways we cannot understand. And we communicate these things by our words, by our actions, and by our prayers.

So, start strengthening that prayer muscle, sister. It takes time to build a comfortable prayer life. It may be awkward in the beginning, just as it feels awkward to seek to Refind Him in the beginning. But, He doesn’t want you to move from Him again either. To keep that closeness takes communication.

And it starts with you.

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know,” says the Lord. Jeremiah 33:3

31 Days to Refind God: Day Twenty-seven

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:51:36 GMT

Day Twenty-Seven: Cleaning Up the Aftermath

Nearly thirty years ago, my mother moved me and my brother to a small town in North Carolina. It was the one in which she’d grown up. The one full of good memories for her. The one she placed all her hope in for a better future.

We’d recently gone through a divorce. Our family was exhausted. And, the three of us looked forward to starting over in a new home. I imagined happiness there. A chance to feel safe. New opportunities.

But, one week before we moved, a tornado came through in a place that tornados don’t usually travel. There were no warnings. No preparations. No way to know how to handle such a thing. I remember driving through town amidst fallen trees and homes severely damaged. We heard stories of fire trucks being lifted by the storm and thrown onto the other side of the county. People in cars had been tossed as if they were toys. Homes shattered by the heavy winds.

It didn’t look like home to me anymore, or a place to start over.

But, because of the deep love my mother had for this town—something that we couldn’t see about it that she cherished—we chose to stay and it eventually returned to the place she’d always described.

Your life may feel like that town right now.

The mess of a long trial leaves debris that must be cleaned up and put away if you are to return to the place you once called home. And while God has been working in you to remove the heavy objects in order to make you useful for service, some of the broken edges might remain. Because when stress is so insurmountable in our lives, for such a long time, we stop trying to clean up the shards. We focus on making it livable again, and let the little things slide.

Things like:

A bad attitude

Constant worry

Guilt

A foul mouth

Bitterness

A distrust of others

A quick tongue

And many, many others . . .

Because just as God has been at work in your trial, so has the enemy. For everything God has removed, the enemy has tried to replace. And it’s up to us to come behind the work and recheck ourselves. To make sure that no unhealthy debris remains.

Have you checked the remains of your storm? Gone through the stubble to pull out the things that are of no good use to you going forward? Checked your mannerisms for ungodly things that need to change?

As we begin to wrap up this series, I encourage you to examine not only your heart, but your life, and your mannerisms. I’ve got some cleanup work to do. Things from my past that I’ve let come back into my life as times got too difficult to bear. But, knowing that God has called us forward for service, knowing the great work He is completing, it’s time to sift through the rubble. And remove that which is not from Him.

“I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you,” says the Lord. Isaiah 44:22

31 Days to Refind God: Day Twenty-six

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:49:31 GMT

Day Twenty-Six: The Gift

During one of the most difficult seasons of our trial, I had three flat tires in six months. Yep. It felt like I couldn’t even tap the gas pedal without one of those babies blowing. Of course, I needed new tires. But, we couldn’t afford them, so I had to make things work with what I had.

When you are stuck on the side of the road, with three small children, in the heat of North Carolina as summer approaches, it’s not a good place. Children begin to use their imagination. They worry about how we’ll get food. They wonder if we’ll have to sleep in the woods. And, yes, one of them inevitably has to “go”.

I don’t know why God saw it fit for me to have not one, but three blow outs, but I can tell you that it was one of the pivotal things that brought me to my knees in complete surrender during a time when I kept thinking: I can handle this, I just have to . . .

Because of those experiences, I will never again be able to pass a woman on the side of the road with a flat tire and not help her. Even if I just stand there with her, I will do it.

It’s a lonely and humiliating thing, being stuck on the side of the road.

I don’t know the specifics of what you’ve gone through during your trial. But, I know this: your trial will one day bless another. Because of your suffering, you’ve acquired the tools you’ll need to one day minister to someone suffering similar circumstances. And, yes sister, they will come.

Maybe you were lucky enough in your trial to have someone help you whom He had prepared in advance. Someone who prayed for you. Spoke truth into your life. Or just stood there with you as you were stuck on the side of your road.

You’ve been given a gift. One that was tailor made. No one else experienced your trial exactly the way you did. No one else will be able to relate to that person in need exactly like you will. And no one else will be given the opportunities to minister to another exactly like you will. No. This is yours, to do with what you will, for the rest of your life.

So don’t waste it.

As you come out of your difficulties and begin to find strength as you Refind God, thank Him for the gift of suffering. For the honor of being chosen to be built up for service. For the future glimmer of hope that you will one day be a part of sharing as you tell another in the midst of their trial: "I’ve been there, hold on, He’s got this.”

“How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!’” Isaiah 52:7

31 Days to Refind God: Day Twenty-five

laurapolk@windstream.net (Laura Polk) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:40:48 GMT

Day Twenty-five: Perfect Progress

Before I was a Christian, Christians scared me. What was it with these perfect people? And why were they so intent on pulling me into perfection? I would never live up to their standards. Didn’t they know what a mess I was? The things I’d done? The thoughts that I had?

I couldn’t do perfect.

I mean, I could try. But it might take a while. They needed to come back after a few months. You know, after I had time to clean myself up for guests. I could play the part better if I could do a little more research, understand the rules a little more.

Years into my faith now, I can see how flawed my thinking was. I’m a sold out follower of Jesus, and I’m still a mess. Don’t get me wrong. The impact He’s had on my life has been incredible. The fear. The regret. The deep wounds that I wouldn’t let go. The chasing after things that didn’t matter. All of that—gone.

But, I’m still a mess. And I’m not afraid to tell you I am because more than I want you to be impressed with me, I want you to understand that though I’ve chosen Christ, in many ways I’m still just like those who haven’t.

Though I strive to walk upright, I still fall. When I choose to place my mind on His kingdom, it still wanders. And, as I long to let myself be under His control, my mind still argues that it has a better way at times.

But because I’ve chosen Him, I’m different. Not perfect. But, in progress.

As I try and try to do my best, only to fall and crumble, I know that I can reach up from the bottom each time and start over. As we yearn to start over now.

We are all a work in progress, sister. A disaster still waiting to happen—though we try with all our might to hide it. A piece to be shaped and reshaped in the hands of the One who knows the role we will fill in His kingdom some day.

It’s not easy to put yourself in His hands knowing that you will endure a lifetime of remolding. Sometimes joyful, sometimes painful. But, we do so knowing that because of His deep love for us, He will redeem what is lost. He will heal what is broken. And He will strengthen us and build us up for what is ahead.

As you move forward in your journey to Refind God, don’t let your missteps lead you to believe that you’ve been set back again. Don’t strain for perfection; thinking you’ll get it right this time. We are flawed standards. Imperfect messes. Works in progress that will never cease to need repairs.

Go into this next phase of your faith instead with your eyes on the progress. Open to it. Yearning for it. Because that, sweet sister, is when Perfection begins His work.

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:13-14