After spending the last nine years following Christ, the one thing that continues to stump me—and can make me feel like I’m way down low on the Christian totem pole—is prayer. It seems that every other Christian has a pretty good handle on it. As if once you choose to follow Christ, you inherit some sort of insider knowledge as to what it is, how it works, and the power it holds.

But, I don’t.

In fact, it seems to me that prayer grows more complicated as I mature in my faith. As if my simple prayers from earlier years no longer make the cut. I feel ashamed almost, that I’m still murmuring simple prayers when something overwhelming looms in my life. Shouldn’t I know how to talk to God?  Shouldn’t I be able to freely speak to the most important person in my life: Jesus?

And yet, while it feels like everyone else has a firm grasp on this, if I push them for an answer as to how to do it, all I get are vague responses cleverly clothed in Christianese.  And, that annoys me.  Sorry, but it does.

When I forego the prayer route and try to find a confidante in faith to discuss my issue with, I often get responses like:  “Have you prayed about it?” or “You need to take that to God in prayer.” And, while I know they are well meaning attempts at help, and I’m absolutely sure they are right, I want to scream: But, HOW do you do that?

I mean, exactly. Exactly how do you do that?

I’m the kind of person that likes to know how things work. I want the behind the scenes tour, to learn the nuts and bolts of something I don’t understand. I’m the annoying person in tour groups that asks questions like: “But, how did George Washington keep wooden teeth in his mouth?  Was there glue involved? Did he have them screwed in? What happened to his old teeth?” It’s never enough for me to just accept things as they are given to me. No. I have to completely over-think them from every possible angle. I know, I exhaust myself.

I do pray, though. Frequently. In the last year more than ever in my life. And, I have gotten some incredible answers at the most precisely timed moments you can imagine. But, overall, I still don’t understand HOW.

And I really, really want to.

When I investigate other curiosities in my life (Hey—it’s how I became a Christian too), I usually start with a definition to try to get an overall idea of what I’m looking at. It helps me to not only understand what it is, but what it is not.

The online Bible Dictionary says:

“Prayer is converse with God; the intercourse of the soul with God, not in contemplation or meditation, but in direct address to Him. Prayer may be oral or mental, occasional or constant, ejaculatory or formal.” 

While Billy Graham puts it this way:

“Prayer is simply talking with God—praising Him, confessing our sins, bringing our burdens and concerns to Him, and thanking Him for who He is and all He has done for us. But prayer is also a privilege—and it is a privilege God has given us because He loves us!”

Which brings me to my starting point for this topic . . .

Prayer is considered a direct conversation between you and God. Not a mine-wandering through the day’s thoughts and glancing at the clouds with thanksgiving (ahem). It is a purposeful, direct address to Him.

It can be spoken out loud, or only in your mind. It can be occasionally, or constantly.  It can be formal, or informal.  It can be spur-of-the-moment, or carefully planned.  And most importantly, it is a privilege.  A special moment that the God of the universe has allowed us to share—on our time table, not His (wow). An opportunity to “draw near” (Psalm 73:28) to Him, with the prospect of growing close to Him, should we choose to.

I have to say, that makes me think.  About how I’ve prayed in the past.  About what prayer actually is.  And, about the incredible opportunity God has laid at our feet.

I’m taking it.  And, I hope you will too.  I’m continuing on this journey and delving deeper next week.  I hope you’ll join me.