Have you ever had a year that changed you forever? Maybe, like me, the past year has been the one. One year later I’m not any smarter, better looking, or unfortunately—thinner. But, I am changed. Going through difficult trials tend to do that. You go in one side eager and ready for battle and come out the other side scarred and weary.

That’s where you’ll find me now. I’m tired.

It’s during trials such as these that I start to secretly wonder if God has forgotten about me. Like, in the midst of the millions of people in His care, He has somehow misplaced me, forgotten where he put me. It’s all too easy to get discouraged during those times. To listen to the voice that says I’ve been left behind. To feel exhausted from the daily battles and disappointments.

It’s during those very times that my prayers become spotty. As if God is no longer listening, I quit talking. And, like a child who can’t get her parents attention, I often sulk. Sometimes, I even get angry.

Can you relate?

The truth is, when I reach a point like that in my life, I am focused only on the immediate need instead of the big picture. It is me who has lost touch with God. It is me who has lost focus on the One I need most.

Romans 12:12 says:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

That is the verse I’ve decided to pursue over the coming weeks.

I have a sneaking feeling that much of my inner struggle is due to my prayer life. I, um, don’t have one. Not that I don’t want one. Not that I don’t realize I’m supposed to have one. I just don’t know what one is. What it is supposed to look like. What I am supposed to do.

But, I’m a determined woman. I’m going to figure this thing called prayer out. I’m going to find a way to make sense of it all. Because I know that it will help me stay focused. It will help me stay strong. And, most importantly, it will get me where I want to be: in His presence more often.

Will you join me?