The First Year
When you are still in the young years of raising children, wanting to go through the first year all over again is akin to wanting to suffer through the teenage angst of high school once more. NO one wants to go there again! You are glad to be rid of bottles and diapers and multiple changings of clothes in a day. No more sleepless nights. (Well, fewer anyway.) You look back on it all with a sigh of relief and a boost in your parenting ego that you made it through.
The first year is tough on everyone. And I'm starting to think that it is why no one REALLY tells you about how parenting will be, until you are one. I mean, we hear about the sleep deprivation, the messiness of it all, the way it has of attacking your bank account. But, we tend not to divulge that this tiny person will swoop in and complete consume your every waking moment for the next year. A monopoly of time that will actually cause you to sweep through entire months without truly remembering what happened in them. Except of course, when you had to buy "fleets". NO ONE EVER FORGETS THAT. If you don't know what I'm talking about here, you are a very, very lucky parent.
Still, as my youngest reaches his second birthday, I'm starting to miss those baby days. What used to be he and I tackling our days in tandem is edging more towards him pushing off ever so slightly on his own. With our oldest now nine, I can see more than ever how quickly he will grow. And it makes me miss that first year. It makes me think that I wouldn't mind going back to 2 am feedings. That boiling bottles might not be so bad. That baby crying (which is different from toddler and certainly tween crying) sounds so sweet.
It makes me miss those days. And yet, I know I have wonderful things to look forward to.
Our middle child just started Kindergarten this week. By day two, he would not let me walk him inside. That's not what you do at big school. I love that the thing that impressed him the most was the cafeteria...which is also the gym. Priceless.
My daughter is coming into her own sense of self as she begins to stand up for things she believes in. I love watching her grow in this way. Confident. Unsteady at times, but growing more sure every day. She and I are starting to have the kind of talks I always wanted with my daughter.
All of these are beautiful things in the lives of parents and children. Gifts. Gifts to be enjoyed and cherished at every stage.
If you are struggling through the first year (for the first time, or for another round), try to remember the small things. The way a child finds that perfect fit between your shoulder and neck. The way they smell after a bath. The slope of their tiny necks. The way their eyes flutter in their sleep. The feel of little fingers holding onto yours. The wide eyed glances at everything new.
You will miss it. You will want it back. Really. I do.
The first year is tough on everyone. And I'm starting to think that it is why no one REALLY tells you about how parenting will be, until you are one. I mean, we hear about the sleep deprivation, the messiness of it all, the way it has of attacking your bank account. But, we tend not to divulge that this tiny person will swoop in and complete consume your every waking moment for the next year. A monopoly of time that will actually cause you to sweep through entire months without truly remembering what happened in them. Except of course, when you had to buy "fleets". NO ONE EVER FORGETS THAT. If you don't know what I'm talking about here, you are a very, very lucky parent.
Still, as my youngest reaches his second birthday, I'm starting to miss those baby days. What used to be he and I tackling our days in tandem is edging more towards him pushing off ever so slightly on his own. With our oldest now nine, I can see more than ever how quickly he will grow. And it makes me miss that first year. It makes me think that I wouldn't mind going back to 2 am feedings. That boiling bottles might not be so bad. That baby crying (which is different from toddler and certainly tween crying) sounds so sweet.
It makes me miss those days. And yet, I know I have wonderful things to look forward to.
Our middle child just started Kindergarten this week. By day two, he would not let me walk him inside. That's not what you do at big school. I love that the thing that impressed him the most was the cafeteria...which is also the gym. Priceless.
My daughter is coming into her own sense of self as she begins to stand up for things she believes in. I love watching her grow in this way. Confident. Unsteady at times, but growing more sure every day. She and I are starting to have the kind of talks I always wanted with my daughter.
All of these are beautiful things in the lives of parents and children. Gifts. Gifts to be enjoyed and cherished at every stage.
If you are struggling through the first year (for the first time, or for another round), try to remember the small things. The way a child finds that perfect fit between your shoulder and neck. The way they smell after a bath. The slope of their tiny necks. The way their eyes flutter in their sleep. The feel of little fingers holding onto yours. The wide eyed glances at everything new.
You will miss it. You will want it back. Really. I do.
Aww, that made me actually cry. I know I should enjoy every minute, I mean she has grown so fast in just 2 months. But man, when she is screaming and miserable and I don't know why, it's hard not to wish this first year away. You are right that every minute of every day is consumed by them and I am losing track of weeks at a time. It's worth it, but it's really HARD! I really want another one, just not right now :o)
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Wow, can I relate. I thought I was done after Bridgette and Holden and I was very reluctant to have another. I was glad that I had my children young! Maybe I would still have some energy left to travel right? Not be tied down. I had a girl and a boy and they were past those sleeplees nights and spit up and poopy diaper days. I was single, content and in control of my life. And...then came Matt. It took a year after he began talking about marriage for me to say yes because having another baby was a requirement that I didn't think I could commit to. Could I do this again at my age? I wondered often during my pregnancy. It was the worst EVER! What was I thinking? In the end, I'm SO glad I did it again. I'm enjoying EVERY single moment because I know this will be the last baby to keep me up at night and the last little first smile and sweet little voice I'll hear for the first time. I'm glad now that I spaced them out the way I did. Each one has enjoyed 8 years of mommy before the next one was born. I love every new stage with each of them. Thank God Bridgette is not the teenager I was although Holden is my wild child. He will be my challenge. The best part is that I'm not doing it alone this time. What gifts, all of them...including Matt.
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I have a nine-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy, but we got baby fever and couldn't have anymore of our own. SO .... we started doing foster care. The wonderful thing is to always have the baby stage. Of course, our foster baby right now is adorable two-year old.
Hm ... I wonder if you'll come check out my blog because I left a comment!!
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